Fair warning, folks: some real stretching is required in order to find a bright side to today’s news, and said side is that the rare millionaire with spare cash sitting around can now buy some stocks at incredibly low prices.  On the less bright side, well, the Dow closed in the neighborhood of a 12-year low.

The Dow fell 250.89 points (3.41 percent) today, landing at 7,114.78.  It hasn’t been that low since October of 1997.  We must also note that it’s quite close to the symbolically important 7,000 mark.

The Nasdaq fared a little better, entering territory it last visited in April of 2003 (it closed today at 1,387.72, having lost 3.47 percent of its value).  Then the S&P 500 really flubbed up as it hit 743.33, or a level roughly equivalent to what it was sitting at in April of 1997.

Perhaps it’s time to start Googling more recipes incorporating ramen noodles.  And doing so quickly, at that, in order to keep the electricity bill low.  The idea of investors swooping in to raise stocks back up seems pretty farfetched at this point.

We’ll keep our eyes peeled for any cheerful news, though, at least between trips out to patrol the property for investment-bankers-turned-looters.